Funny male online dating profiles

Attractive women see tons of samples of dating profiles because they get 30-50 messages on average a day and… Men that all say similar things and who have similar dating profiles.

Big difference when compared to your high level of confidence, skill, and your COMPLETE lack of desperation huh?

Don’t be a looker, show you don’t take yourself too seriously.

All a woman has to do to date online is get a profile, and she’ll be approached.

13-year-old female Seeking a nap Spay/Neuter status: SPAYED Body type: Ample Breed: I don’t want to breed. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

You must be willing to break into laboratories to “lend” equipment while wearing high heels and to have extra limbs attached AND look hot while having them.

Here’s how I imagine their online dating profiles: 12-year-old male Seeking someone fancy, open-minded and gaze-worthy Spay/Neuter status: Neutered Body type: Average, with slight “jungle pouch.” Breed: N/A Hair color: Tuxedo Catnip? My gaze is unparalleled, and some have called me “creepy,” but I prefer to think of myself as “profound.” I also enjoy chewing my feet very loudly. Someday I hope to go somewhere fancy so my natural tuxedo can get a workout. Grow my own, not willing to share More about me: I like to be in charge, so don’t answer my ad unless you like to be bossed around and swatted when you’re sleeping in my favorite spots. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online.

Socially More about me: I was born a humble barn cat and was adopted by a nice family. Looking for that special someone who doesn’t mind a farm boy-turned-gentleman, who also chews his toes and loves his mom. I’m willing to give anyone a chance, but if you’re not interested in bathing me while I sunbathe, giving me dibs on all incoming boxes and letting me go in the fresh litter box first, DO NOT APPLY. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries.

You see, you can fill in “when I first tell people about my kung fu they laugh…

but when they see me fight during the championship? Women are attracted to talent because they make you seem like you’re radiating with confidence, without you having to say anything.

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Samples of dating profiles, sample 1: Who would have thought that a nuclear disaster in Japan made me end up on this site?

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  1. Hence, one can start to understand the strong attachment that can form from thousands of miles away through the exchange of repeated sentiments and promises of lifelong love with no more than a photo in hand.